I thought, I'd write a bit to see if I'll feel better, but I don't know...
Here I am thinking about myself again, thinking:
Why all these things happen?
Why am I sleepless these days?
Why am I such an easy target?
It's the questions I never could answer, so I'm sending them your way, give it a shot and try to answer.
Meanwhile, I'm here waiting for the sunrise after 4 hours I suppose. I'm thinking about what I'm gonna do the next day that's coming: I'll go to school, I'll see my friends, I'll go to the theater workshop, I'll go to the cafeteria, I'll return home and do the same thing as now: Writing because I'm sleepless.
Somethings I want to talk about, such as why do people think I'm doing this to myself, they all say: You just think it that way - It's only in your head - Stop faking it! They all say these things, and I'm too stupid to do nothing, I mean I can always break someone's face. What you don't know is that right now while I'm writing this you are all in your beds, sleeping! That what really makes the diffrence now, because most of you are lame [I'm not offending my friends here]
Recentey a simple comment on someone's status made a bitchfight, because you people who hangout in groups with people that hate me, think that it's cool to be like them, to hate me. I got news for you: I'm gonna make you hate me because you ain't me. <Note: This note can be really long, and I'm sure most people won't bother reading it>
Now that it's 2 AM I'm thinking that this is propably the time to sleep, I can't sleep tonight for an unknown reason. I'm gonna keep on writing until I finish what I want to say.
A few things that are on my mind right now are:
1. How to get rid of people?
2. How to find the people I want?
Answers:
1. There is no way, except hell, to get rid of people.
2. I have a few of the people I want, but still I want more.
The final exams are soon to come and I'm not really planning on doing anything about it, but I'm not giving up! So the real plan is that I work my ass off until the end of this month, pass the exams next month, and take a really long vacation this summer.
Also, the play I wrote is finished now and I'm gonna be doing some casting as Oliver <Oliver is my theater teacher, he's cool> said, I have 7 characters: 3 parts are taken, and 4 are alvailble for casting, as for me I'll be the director. The play is called: Inside His Head, it's about a teenager who hears voices in his head, an angel and a demon, his life is pertty messed up. It is based on real story, with a bit of twists in it. <Note: Most readers will give up here>
Other than that, I'm just dreaming about skate shoes and I started listening to Gothic MeTal, while my favourite band still is: Bullet For My Valentine.
I've loved someone recently, I liked holding her hand, talking to her, enjoying her company, but things didn't work out as it should have.
Only a few people know about the dark spot: Well, it's a dark place, my bedroom with lights off and no lights at all, sometimes I use the laptop there, it's my place of inspiration and where I think about stuff deeply, it has stopped me from doing really stupid things such as giving up... and on the ceiling there is a paper which has some quotes written on it, as an example: The walls around us made to keep sadness out also keep out joy.
Mood : Calm.
Problem: Sleepless.
Solution: Writing.
